Yesterday

was happier than what I've seen of today so I shall write about that.

um...putzed around with marilyn for the majority of the day and come 6 we were waiting for E(r). But he did not come. So I decided it was time for another grand adventure. Called up marty to see if he wanted to come...even though it seemed like we just needed a run since we had missed the last bus I had intended to call him anyway. So we go. Mostly an uneventfull trip there but on the way back we stopped by Marty's grandmothers...yes you read correctly, at 10 o-clock in the evening. His crazy uncle wasn't home, which (as marty tells it) is a plus. Eat some of her fudge and jelly beans then leave. She's funny, a little hopped up on pain killers but not bad. Go back to the traffic circle of doom (what kind of traffic circle ahs Lights in it for christ's sake!?) and take the right exit, make it back to lister in one peice. hang out a bit and then leave with marty. Go on an imprompt-to tea trip to martys. see the new shiny desk top, talk on msn. Go over to al's at 3:30 in the morning to stand for an hour in her door way making stupid / extistenchial comments and feel like I'm floating for the majority of it. Drop Marty off back at home and then go home my self. Go to sleep at 5am. And now I realize that that all isn't yesterday at all but the day before...shite I need to get my hold on time back...

Yesterday has just re-emerged in my memories, I remember now.
And honestly I don't care to write an abridged version of another day in here so...

have a good one

Christmas(-eve)

Is...alright...I guess
If there’s boots involved
My pleasantly crazy father took me out shopping yesterday, that’s right; Christmas Eve. I guess he expected the mall to be full of 'calm' shoppers. Which surprisingly, to me anyway, it was. For the amount of cars in the parking lot you would expect there to be hoards that you had to fight your way through inside, but no, there weren’t. In fact there were very few people around...it was odd. Perhaps there is a gapping void in Chapters and all those folks buying gift-certificates for the loved ones that they don't care much about got sucked into it. If that is the case I am just happy that the great G isn't working there any longer.

Any-how, as per our usual jaunts in the mall my father saw 3 people he knows from work. Two ass' and one extremely nice young fellow. I would have patted him on the head for this remarkable likeness to a stuffed puppy if it were not for the fact that he stands almost a full foot taller than me. I think his hugs would be awesome. Any-way...I got nothing that really constitutes Christmas presents. Winter boots that I've needed for the past 3 months but my father has neglected to get for me until now. I love them though. It took the nutty Russian sales lady and I over an hour to talk him into buying them. She even gave him an 'extra' ten dollars off to remedy his pouty face. I can't really complain at all though; made in Canada, leather (made from the cows they slaughter anyway), black + laced up with a zipper on the side. I could stomp around in them all day long, which I intend to do actually. All the time I'm not on the computer I'm stomping around the house yapping about how much I love them, I think I shall get a ginger-bear to the head soon enough.

Onward to the world of...pastel bras? sick I know, but as I sifted through the mess that was La Senza I did happen to look up to be startled by the array of colors that you can now get a 'hydro-lift' bra in. *shivers* sometimes I wish I was a boy...then I stop. ooo ooo, and don't let anyone ever tell you that your too old for Pooh Bear. Every pair of my socks are now graced with his fuzzy little face...either him or one of his 'minions'. 'sept for rabbit, I hates him, can you say OCD?

Alas, I fear I have mislead you...that is if you still know what’s going on I shall have to break your stride here; I did get something that resemble Christmas prezzies. 3 movies, one came out of the three dollar bin though, so its not so bad. The Order, a movie which I am in lust over. The Rules of Attraction, can you beat this character movie? and Broken Down Palace, Marilyn said it was good so I grabbed it. I am so happy about that as well. *points at face* can you see the glee?

Side Note 1.5; where did I get the energy to do all of that in an hour and a few minutes? I have two words for you; White Moccachino. Heaven in a drink. My hands were shaking really badly by the time the sugar wore off though. Don’t you just hate coming off a sugar buzz?

An abridged version of the rest of the evening;

So we got home so I could throw myself into a frenzy to get ready for dinner at Ben’s house. Shower-run into room half naked - try to find the perfect outfit - get dressed only to realize this is not what I want to wear - start throwing clothes around just in case I have the perfect bottom to go with my gray silk shirt and…Bingo!! - long lost skirt found and ironed by father (also slipping in there while he was distracted that I was going out with Ben now) I run out the door. Drop Marilyn off at her parents. (sorry I left you for the slaughter) Late! Hurry over to Bens - don’t forget to say hello to his parents and offer help in the kitchen - apologies to Jonathan for insulting his card-board shield-that minor problem remedied relaxing bens room after picking out his out-fit (which he looked amazing in) - called down to dinner – eat - keep on eating - still eating - mmm wine+pop - drive out to see his god - daughter (cute as a button) - go back - dessert - finish wine - go ‘watch a movie up stairs’ - actually watch some of The Order - Thank the hostess for dinner - keep on getting phone calls from father that I can’t answer - sad that Ben will be gone for 5(!) days - drive home expecting check-stops but see none – home - sleep…

And it was good.

thoughts...even though this is not the place for them

Well…its snowing, those nice big fat snow flakes that make you happy to see them, the ones that actually warm up the earth. But I shant get into the chemistry behind that statement because I’m sure it would be rather lame…
Friends.
What an interesting word, I find the connotations to said word even more intriguing though. What does it really mean and how many classifications can we create to organize the people we have come to call friends in too. Alas, if we were to start classifying things this post would be not only long but meticulous and therefore a waste of your infinitely valuable time. So, lets not start with that. I have a quote for this whole idea also but I won’t bother you with it. But to get back to my original point. To be a friend or to consider some one else your friend there must fulfill certain requirements. Must you feel a certain kinship towards them? Do you souls bear a little something in common? Or are you just friends of or for convenience…? (wouldn’t that be unfortunate) And does this change with time? For I am certain that people change in time, especially in this rather hectic, would be tops turvy time of…post secondary life. And if stipulation 2 is correct, that the souls are somehow threaded together, then does your soul change? Or perhaps, to soften the blow we shall say, mature? I really don’t know. All I do know, as I am cutting this argument or exploration of a human interaction down, is that all the friends I once had I still feel a bitty of companionship towards. No matter the circumstances of the ultimate separations, parting of ways. *shrugs* I’ve run out of energy to think on it.

Here's the quote anyway…can’t remember his name though;
To divide the whole is to name the new parts…there are already enough names. –Some Chinese dude.

Happy days

its really odd. my life is in this hot and cold phase right now. On one side of things I am on the extream side of happy and on the other I would like nothing more than to jump off of Macenzie Tower to my human pancake death.

I'm really happy because I'm in love with a boy who says that he loves me. Because I feel safe and cared for

I'm scared and depressed because I screwed up this term at school with my inability to focus in the begining and right when I thought I had some focus back I lost it again, fucking up some of my finals. Because I'm hurting my friends and because I'm scared of so many things. But all of that is material for Cold and Sharp so I shant rant about it here

Good things going on right now;
-its warmer than the hellish -25 it was a few days ago, and yes I know that it shall get worse and colder but I like this little bitty of warmth that we have now
-I get hugs...constantly from so many people, its amazing
-I have hope for a briter tommorow, and that has driven me for a lot time, hopefully it can still drive me now
-I have people who love me...I think, and thats a nice thought to have

so thats enough light to fight back the dark
right?

LOOK! A Mongoos!!

I have been awake for 24 hours, I have acheived nothing.
Awsome.

Awake

Its 3 o-clock in the morning and i'm awake and happy
for some reason when it gets really late I forget that I should be sad.
I like that

On-ward to excersise....mmmm...endorphines

Project

I have another project to work on and I'm looking forward to it. Another project for another day and ironically enough, to me anyway , another project for another boy. This boy is not mine and I shall never be his. He just wants my soul. Trapped in the film, on the pages that hold the pictures.
And that's ok. To me anyway.
All I can think about is that tomorrow is another day. Which means that I made it through today and that's why this is a good post, something happy because I guess that's an accomplishment.

to find something happy

Something from today to write about.
but I'm having trouble
...
shit
...
does a kiss count?

b-e-n-e-d-i-c-t

is handsome
is sweet
is a good kisser
is careful with me

knows more than others
knows how to make me smile
knows what makes me tick
knows how to argure a point

says I'm a pretty little girl
says that I'm sweet
says that I should live
says that I'm soft yet smooth, like silk

and I say...that although there are possible deal breakers there; I like him.
I think that he'll keep me safe for now
Even if he doen't have the a chance to see me all the time.
The reason though is something that I can't argue with; to forfill his wish. To re-wire his brain. To eat fish.
and all-though you all don't understand that, I do. And he will...

DOOM BEE'S!!

horor

yeah, saturday was good times; went to west ed with keven though neither of us were very enthused and therfore it wasn't that much fun though I did see the bestest card ever at Millenuim, they have these great envelopes too. I shall have to remember to go back there when I have some money.

Done out expedition there, keven got an uber cool jacket for only $20(!), we headed over the the U to visit marilyn....and what was ment to be me dropping by to steal chad popsicle turned into a wonderful evening. It was the floor formal and somehow, it haven't really figured out how yet, they got me into a cocktail dress! Nice and black I have to admit, the heals to go with it were impossibly tall and of no substance at all but to top it all off, in a great sort of way, they were hot pink(!). so that was a blast trapsing though slush and snow in those, thank god for kevens shoulder or I would have fallen 6 times. Went to a really nice resturant, the food was amazing. Got to sit by the uber cool Chantal, and that rocked. We left early with Chantal, I mean after you eat and everyone else is just getting drunk/whinning about how they hate wearing dresses (I didn't even do that, the evening wasn't about me or how much I Hadn't shavd my legs in forever, it was about having fun with out the complaining), and that was a blast as a punk couple heard me talking about how I could make the outfit killer with a pair of hooker boots form Sanctuary and got angry at us, even going on a seperate train car when as they decided that they didn't like us/me much. No matter, I still had fun.

When back to Lister, made some uber good popcorn...of DOOM! and listened to Chantal play guitar and sing with a friend of hers. I love...love love love one of her song sooo much, it makes me cry. Which is a huge accomplishment. It reminds me so much of my friends and esspechially you Marilyn, I lurve it.

Watched a little but of Empire Records, such a good movie. But then me and Keven had to go and catch out bus, which we just made in time. It's all good.

Getting home fearign the wrath of my father for being late to find him fine with the fact that I went out but still got hime before midnight. So all is well in the land of the Cathy

DOOM!

Whyte Ave

Was sooo much fun!
I got this uber cool jacket; one of those gray womens suit jackets...though I'm driven to take out the shoulder pads. How I hate them.
I should mention now that I am broke...yeah, all of this bar, well and including the sweater, that you all shall soon learn about, was bought by other people and for as much as I feel bad cuz they spent so much money on me, Marilyn adn Keven I lurve you, I LOVE all the stuff!
ok onward!
As I mentioned there is also sweater, from that uber cool story called 'Vintage', most of thier stuff isn't my style but everyonce and a while there's an awsome peice there. nice black sweater, seeing as winter is apon us...
Next too Mars and Venus, ooo the evil it rises again, anyhow; I got a MARY SHIRT! I'm not overly religious or anything, but I can't resist Mary, o-lady in blue.
um...then this neat little trinket shop and I got these awsome post cards *drools*
Then to Rowena...as I've already mentioned the jacket were keven gots me some cards. That was awsome
and this post has NO structure so I'm stopping now

Good news?

Well…on the bright side of things I guess all is going well. I had planned to take a bachelor of science in nursing but after experiencing my first ‘group learning’ class I dropped that program. I’m now routed through the Bachelor of Arts and education office taking a bunch of biology courses, which is great cuz that’s what I love. I’ll transfer to the Bachelor of Science program for the winter term. I am questioning though, now, what I really enjoy. The answer; biology history and philosophy….now what the heck is a girl to do with that? Maybe I should look at becoming a teacher again. I could be one of the weird ones who has one foot in humanities and another in sciences. I really don’t know yet. I still have to see what I can do with a biology major.

I am sort of excited though because my dad gave me some money to buy books. And not textbook either! I got some more of those lesser-known but spectacular Canadian authors, and I can’t wait to read them. I shall have to put their names up at some point, I feel bad for forgetting.

But yes, I think that is enough of the good news.

Moving Day!

On my Jesus! This is the most exciting thing that has ever happened in my small world. I'm so excited for Marilyn, she gets her very own room in rez!! That means I get to go a nd visit when ever I like. It's going to be great!

I really can't wait! I don't even what to sleep but I have to do chores tomorrow morning so I guess I'll have to sleep now so that I can get them done so that I might be able to help Marilyn move. Sleeping Cathy or grounded Cathy is no good

wheeee, and school is starting for me soon. I'm sad though because most everyone I know, bar Chad, is going to the U so I'm going to be all alone. It makes me sad. Though my father arranged for a consolation prize for me; I get to go swimming there! He's going to get me a year long pass and a nice regulation suit so that I can have something to do other that home work in the giant gaps between my classes since I'm going to have no friends to talk to. Yup...I think it shall work out alright. Or at least that's what I'm hoping for.

Happy

I'm pretty happy today, I leave tommorow. And thats good.
We're going shopping today! I get stamps! there are very few thing that make me happier.
..maybe that jacket I saw, o-god, its amazing.
green with black inlayed leaves. calfs skin, but I can over look that. Ok so I can't and I won't be getting it.
urg, that sucks
o-well maybe I'll get a cd too, that would be nice
my grammer is getting horrid so I stop here.

Look, I'm in Banff

And it hasn't stopped raining.
plus I'm sore cuz Andrew made me go to the gym.

...I have tea and I guess I'm happy.

thats all.

Day after dirt day

I hung out with Chad yesterday, that was good times. Watched Resident Evil and Underworld, I now understand the buzz.

Today is M and I's day to go to the U and adventure, now just try and figure out my code!
hehe
We're leaving nice and early(sidenoteto marty; this is why you didn't come I didn't wanna call you so early)

Yup, thats about it, I also have to try and get the remainder of my books, that would be a good thing.

MY CD'S!!

Their missing! In martys house somewhere...in their move
its really sad, and I'm traumatized
I have really no music to listen too...I have some HIM...and some Linkin Park
Sad I know

um...looks like martys family is going to have to get a new car, their old one blew up a few days ago. Ok so there was no fire, but it wouldn't start and she was sad. I drove her to work and then we took it in to the shop...I got some French toast out of the deal so it was alright. Though it kinda wreaked my sleeping in day..getting up at 7:30 can do that to a girl who had planned on getting up at 10. No matter, I was happy to help.

I need a job...
It's kinda crappy cuz it's kinda like no one likes me enough to hire me.

A grand adventure

Its great. We drive to St.Albert and abduct people. We know them of course...or at least I do.
Bring them back to Sherwood park, treat them to some good old fashion dennys and them take them to a place to sleep. I think this hurts the parents more than anyone else...Probably wondering were their kids went.
don't sleep, nap from 10-11 then drive them back. More of an extreme sport because I haven't' slept for...3 days? minus cat naps of half an hour or so from time to time.
hence the bad grammar and horrendous spelling.
...yes, it was good, and I had fun.
Even though I really didn't talk.

Buy a CD Day!!

I would squeal like a little girl but not even that would get across just how excited I am about this; my friend bought one of the very best albums ever!!  I talked her into it, but it still counts darn it; the new HIM album!! 
*jumps up and down, does a little happy dance*
yeah...sorry, for some unseen reason I though the world needed to know that...

Moving Day

Tommorow is moving day for martys family and I've gotten myself all excited about it.
Not that its going to be much fun...its spossed to be around +30. Lifting boxes and heavy furniture...sounds like a blast!
We're all going to die of heat stroke arent we?
We'll fall down and be fried like eggs on the freshly poured cement of the side walks there...
I know it, I just know it...

I found an awsome card today, I just need to figure out who I would like to send it to...
Snail mail is better than e-mail anyday, and I'm sticking to my guns on that one!

Time for bed, I must be all rested up for the moving.

The boy is beautiful

Well, the rain came, FINALLY!
thuder lightning, the whole bit.
got thoughly soaked twice, I'm not sure how I managed that yet, but I did.
Walkin gin summer rain is by far one of the best things to do.  For your mind and I think your soul.  Rain  is just so symbolic; cleasing and refreshing.  Nothing beats it.  No chemical peel will ever come close to the glow a person has after they've been out in the rain.
 
Today is anime-a-thon day.  Time for me to geek it up.
A super duper plus about today though is that I get to see my long lost friend Al, whom I haven't really talked to much as of late and I get to see two mail friends of mine; Eric and Matteo.  (o-my, no pun intended there...)
*insert little girl squeel here*  I'm so excited!
 
There really is no better outfit for days like these; 30 above and humid, than a skirt and a Nirvana T-shirt.  I don't  care if I'm going to the anime-a-thon, I want to wear Nirvana darn it!
I do hope though, that we don't do to much walking cuz I'll be wearing flip flops...this could be bad.
 
Marty and I saw an...odd thing last night. Standing in the rain watching the lighning we saw a goose.  He wasn't flying, not even just sitting down for a rest or to be safe from the weather. Nope, he was walking down the street.  A lone goose quite happily waddling down the street.  I still don't know what to say about it other then; odd very very odd, and funny!
 
I hope Al calls me soon to come and pick me up...
I should be calling M.
Off I go to do just that.

hot summer days, and what should be rainy summer nights

But NO!
fouled again.
3 days of over 25 and no thunder storm during the night.  Which means there should be a pretty substantial one coming up here, hopefully anyway.
I love storms.
Its weird though, lately if you watch the clouds during the night you can see the lightning jumping around up there, but no rain yet.
its really to bad...
Today is the celebratory part of M's 18th birthday...I think we're going to dinner or something.
fun all around!

Raving crappulance of the gods

bah! I think I forgot my cell phone at M's, but I don't know cuz I can't call her its to late and MSN won't let me on.
I ran after her car all the way down my drive way and on to the road screaming for her to stop but she didn't...
I'm so worried cuz I don't know where it is and its brand new...
Though I am not putting this on Cold and Sharp because in a lot of ways its funny, not to me right now but give it a day and it'll be hilarious I'm sure.
*whimper* I want my phone back, and I wish she would have looked back...

Look at the sky

Went to visit Chad at work today. That was uber fun. We loves Chad, he is great. Did you know!? all plants and shrubs are half off now! How exciting. Chad works at Canadian Tire.
guess what?
Guess what!?
The sky is beautiful at sun set. and rain is coming. then we can walk in the summer rain. and there is nothing better than that.
nothing in the whole wide world and it only gets better when your walking with someone you enjoy.

When I live in Rome I want to have glass ornaments hanging in my window. So that the light can reflect off the pages of my open journals. And I can open my eyes and see all of this...magic happening in my room. But I realize that it happens in my room now also. It's really everywhere. and I figure that's worth sticking around for, right?

The only thing I really want right now that's not here is the safety of his arms around me. Its not the same to just imagine it.

There are photos that need to be developed, anyone serfs DA should check out parkinglotpauper's stuff.

Thanks Marty for going along with that, I know you didn't like the idea very much. and thanks for protecting me, and taking care of me, and just caring.

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.


Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.


Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.


Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.


You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.


Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.


With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

Devil by my side

My favorite David Usher song right now; Devil by my side. For all those poor souls that I keep on playing this to this will be the last time I'm going to force you to deal with it. The rest of the time it just pops up not of my doing...or is it?...
Any how. I love the lyrics and a few folks in my school will soon be seeing random pieces of paper, which will probably have snippets on them. Marilyn we really do have to get on that cuz I'm excited!
So here are the lyrics, enjoy.

Believe in hope
Believe in fate
Believe in things I can't fight
Believe in truth
Believe in slavery...but it’s only the television kind
Believe that light will find a way
Believe in jets as they blow into the sky
Believe in you
Believe in me and all of these things.

Devils by my side
And the freaks are out
We're in force tonight
And you opened me wide
'Cuz its cold in there
and its warm outside

Believe that hate will never die
Believe in sex and love in a dangerous time
Believe in grace, and your intelligence
Believe in exploring the corners of the mind
Believe your truth is not my truth
Believe that god can exist with many faces at one time
Believe that we will find a way through all of these things

Devils by my side
And the freaks are out
We're in force tonight
And you opened me wide
'Cuz its cold in there
and its warm outside

Believe in hope, believe in faith
Believe in things I can't fight
Believe that somewhere I've seen war…but it’s only the television kind

Devils by my side
And the freaks are out
We're in force tonight
And you opened me wide
'Cuz its cold in there
and its warm outside

Talk when you realize
That you'll never have what you’re trying to find

Are you smiling?

High velocity metamorphysis

I woke up this morning the happy summer Cathy. It doesn't matter anymore what happens in my dreams or even what’s happening anywhere else (bar Iraq and other war torn areas, as the torture of a human spirit vexes me). This is my brain working again; I think it took a break for a month or so. But back to pleasant repression, I like it damb it, don't tell me that I have to deal with things cuz' I don't wanna.
I'm a child at heart and you can tell by the way I argue; I pout. But hey I think this is the best way to live because everyday is a new adventure (thanks dad for teaching me that). If my plan ultimately fails to end my life before I become depressingly old, I'm looking forward the alsymers; you get to meet new people and tell new stories every single day. Awesome.
My new CD's are getting played relentlessly. I love David Usher. It’s weird because he has depressing lyrics but happy music, which balances out nicely.
Any-who I should be off to school. Yay! People!...and a physics in class assignment...*thud* and a math quiz...O-well
All is well in the land of the Who.

Birth mothers day!?

Did all you people, the non-existent readers, know that the preverbal 'they' want to create a "Birth Mothers Day". So that all those people that just had the kid can have a day and feel special. What amazing importance to people find in these sanctioned days? Can't they just make one up for themselves and leave the rest of the population that will resent this move alone!? I know I hate the whole idea. Sure I know that some mothers can't keep their kids, that it was the best thing to do. I get that. But why-o-why do they need a day? Won't this just be an awful reminder for them that they don't have their kid and that their not a mother just a birth-mother. I think that would sting. Ulterior motives; my mother doesn't deserve a day. But don't think I haven't though about it for other people, I try to be un-biased about these things.

...Ok this was just a rant...ignore it if you like, so that you may sleep at night in your world of ignorance and no real thought.


That wasn't directed at anybody so you can calm down now...

Baby animals and candy on trees

BE HAPPY!
*waves hands around & runs away*

Organic Gummybears

Since I've been banned, by martins mother, from refined sugars I have had to find other, more expensive in the long run, alternatives. Those being, today, orgainc gummy bears and dates. Ewwwww. Dates. They make me think I'm throwing up...I'm sure I'm not but thats the texture and taste they posses. They should be outlawed.

It's snowing...maybe it will kill all those bastard leaves on the trees. I wish they would stay dead, but nooooooo they have to live again. I like them when their green and lush but I hate them when their coming back and dieing.

Must think of something earthshatteringly happy to post...
I WON! bwahahahahaha, I was right. Martin and I had a bet going on weather Lex or his mother killed the baby. Smallville refrence if you don't get it yet. I was right. It was the mother, the whole after birth depression thing going on. I win I win I win
OK I'm done now.

Onward to eating things that make me thing I'm throwing up...yum.

Twirling circles with your fingertips

Yesterday was excellent, went out and took photos with some of my most favorite people in the world, had a blast.

I think one of my wisdome teeth is coming in...the gums there are all soft, its painful to bite down on, so of course I'm constantly working my jaw biting down on it, it feels so nice. I hope that this is not the reason I was so happy last night, I very much doute that. Good fun is better than anything like that. Right?

So much work to do on all this yearbook crap. Peoples grad writeups are all the SAME! I bothers me to no end.

Well I guess I should be off, the bus should be here in 5 minutes or so....
Have a good one folks.

HP=Human Prozac

I shall not be allown on grad now...hopefully...
Marilyn may be able to come on the cemetary romp with me, and now I am happy for a moment, and thats good enough sometimes.

But what was the question again?

Everyones is so stressed around here that their all shutting down...ok so I lie. Not everybody, just a few, but that is enough to taint my thoughts. Silence meets questions and comments, rejection fills my heart and head, weighed down with this new version of old pain, the darkness licks at my feet. But I shall kick it off...or at least thats what I'm planning to do...sometimes that has no effect on what actually happens.

I plan to ask a friend tommorow how to butify and perfect this thing you call a blog...it shall be great

Note to readers(if you exist); yes my spelling and grammer are horrid, so plz do not bug me about it, I know I know.

It really truley bothers me when these beautiful people around me critic themselves on problems and imperfections that they do not, by any stretch of the imagination posses...so very frustrating.

I love my cat. He's so cute.
I also love the overwhelming power this gives me! I can write whatever I like...until, that is, I realize that people I know will read this and then bug me about that things I write here...but maybe subconsiously thats exaclty what I want to happen...you never know. At least with a paper journal thingy you can protect and try the sensor who reads it.

I guess I'm just jabbering so off I go...to eat lollypops until my head explodes

Hey look its my first post.
How mundane...maybe I shall think of something better later
get in on some of the cronic highschool melodrama that keeps on happening around here...